So You Want To Have a Homebirth (A homebirthers guide)
Well, yay! You’re choosing to birth how every single woman birthed up until very recently in human history.
Ok that was cheeky but here’s the truth….
The absolute best place for you to give birth, is where you feel safest and most empowered.
Period.
There is no hierarchy of birth choices.
A woman who chooses a homebirth isn’t more or less of….anything…than a woman who chooses to birth at a birthing center or hospital or…wherever.
Know that this is not a competition. There is no ultimate reward to be had for homebirthing.
What there IS, however….
Is a place and way of bringing your baby into the world that resonates most with you. There’s a way that feels aligned and authentic. And you doing what that is….no matter what others think of that choice….is the absolute most important factor in all of this.
Since I’m a homebirthing (and freebirthing) momma, and since this post is about having a homebirth, I will obviously be sharing what I think is important for you to know to have your own beautiful homebirth experience.
So let's cover what I believe are some of the most crucial pieces for both Mind & Body when it comes to prepping for a beautiful homebirth.
The MIND
#1) Prepare yourself to practice strong boundaries
When you become pregnant (or if you’re already pregnant) everyone and their mother will have an opinion to share with you.
If you are planning to make an uncommon or unpopular choice in the community or family you’re a part of…you’ll likely have even more and stronger opinions being shared with you.
To which I’d encourage you to kindly, but firmly, respond with “I love you. But this topic is not up for discussion”.
And walk away.
I have amazing, deeply loving parents. And….they were quite scared of the idea of me having a homebirth…much less a freebirth.
In order for me to guard my mind and heart during such a vulnerable time as pregnancy is, I told them “I love you. But this topic is not up for discussion”. And we simply did not discuss my birth(s) during my pregnancies.
If you have people pleasing tendencies, now will be a great opportunity to work on them. Truly pregnancy is a *very* good opportunity to work on a lot of our inner fears and limitations. You'll likely be confronted with all kinds of fears, doubts and self imposed limitations during your pregnancy. It can absolutely be challenging and confronting. But this is the side of pregnancy that isn't talked about enough--you aren't just growing new life; YOU are stepping into a new life--and a new version of you. Rise to the occasion, woman! As your baby grows inside you, and your body grows and changes, allow this also to be a time of deep inner transformation. Practice now being the kind of role model you want to be for your child.
So...boundaries.
Your pregnancy and birth is about you and you alone. That baby inside of you is literally part of you right now. So what’s best for you in terms of where you feel safest and most empowered to give birth, is also what’s best for your baby. Choosing a homebirth is never just about what mom wants—until that baby is born you are one.
So get good at setting boundaries.
This is step #1 of your mind prep.
#2) Get clear on what you desire and are choosing for your birth and remove all thoughts of other outcomes.
The (often times confronting) truth is that the circumstances of our lives are a reflection of US--a reflection of what we believe, a reflection of what we think we deserve, and a reflection of what we assume to be possible.
The ultimate reality is that we are aligned with all the circumstances of our lives. And if and when we wish to change a circumstance WE must change.
The greatest task in preparing for an empowered birth experience is to become aligned with exactly the experience you desire. It is to completely eradicate all notions of other outcomes or "plan B's" and to decide fully that you are a person who will __ (fill in the blank). Example: “I am having a homebirth”. Period and Amen.
Many people will say they wanted a different birth outcome than what they had but....did they? Did they want to meet themselves in all their power? Or did they want to be saved?
Did they believe in the fullness of their potential? Or when the moment arrived, did they shrink back into their smallness?
Of course this is no judgement. Not in the slightest. We have all had moments of rising and of shrinking back in fear. All of life is lessons. All of it is a mirror to our internal world.
But it is so worth reflecting on the questions "Who am I? What do I truly want? And what do I believe is possible for me?"
Be very honest with yourself as you ask these questions.
I fully embodied being a homebirthing, freebirthing, momma before either of my babies were ever born. I decided that was what I wanted. And that was that. All things in life happen in two parts: first we make the decision internally. And second, that internal decision is made manifest in our external lives.
Make the decision for what you are choosing for your birth. And stop playing with ideas of "what ifs". Align yourself energetically to the birth you desire.
And.....write it down. Write it all down. CLAIM the birth experience you WILL have. And brainwash yourself so thoroughly with that truth and that reality knowing as you do so it MUST become manifest.
I also recommend doing a daily birth meditation. I used the "GentleBirth Pregnancy App" for daily 5-10 minute birth meditations.
Understand that it is your work to cultivate a mindset that is wholly focused on the birth experience you desire. Don't overlook the importance of this work. Cultivating a strong, positive, and CAN-DO mindset is essential for your homebirth.
#)3 Read these books to prepare your mind (and body) for a beautiful, empowered pregnancy and birth
These are my personal favorite, go-to books I read to prepare for my own births and that I recommend to my pregnant clients:
Portal by Yolande Norris Clark (powerful, powerful, powerful book!)
Spiritual midwifery by Ina May Gaskin (A classic, truly. Beautiful tales of homebirths)
Ina may’s guide to childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (More beautiful birth stories as well as practical advice: reducing pain during labor, how to minimize or avoid postpartum bleeding and depression, etc)
Heart and Hands: A Midwifes Guide to Pregnancy and Birth by Elizabeth Davis (Pretty self explanatory--become your own midwife with this resource. Whether you intend to be your own midwife or to have a midwife it's always wise to be informed!)
Birthing from within by Pam England (I loved this book for its practical exercises such as journaling, painting and meditating to help me process my thoughts and fears during pregnancy. Truly pregnancy and birth is a journey of self discovery and expansion. This book helps you do just that).
The BODY
1) Eat well, Move Well, Rest Well.
Because food, movement and even rest are so very personal, it's impossible for me to offer very specific and universal advice on these things. But what I will say is this:
Do all these things well. Eat real foods. Eat foods that come from the earth. Eat less that comes from a factory. Move your body in whatever way(s) feels good to you. If you have been a crossfitter for years, continue doing crossfit. If you haven't ever done crossfit, don't feel you need to start now, while pregnant. We all have unique ways of moving our body that we most enjoy. Keep doing those--or if you've been too stationary lately, start moving again.
Women who are healthy and fit typically have a much easier time in labor and birth. And again, there isn't one universal way to move your body or feed your body that will guarantee an easeful, successful birth. Many things work. Just do something (and do it consistently!).
*Before I move on from this point that I know is likely all too vague, but ultimately the best I can offer to a wide audience, I want to say to those who are anxious about eating "perfectly"....that your body is amazing. Beyond amazing. And women have been growing and birthing babies during famines, wars, and all kinds of unthinkably challenging times all throughout history. Your baby does not need you to eat anywhere near "perfect" in order for he/she to grow strong and healthy.
Food aversions and nausea can be a very real part of pregnancy for many women. I certainly experienced a fair share of food aversions during my pregnancies making it pretty darn impossible to eat the way I always thought I'd eat when I got pregnant (plain white rice was a go-to meal for me all too many times during my first pregnancy).
Do your best and then trust the rest.
Truly....trust. Trust and surrender will be important themes to learn as you navigate your pregnancy and your birth (and honestly, motherhood in general!).
2) Things to have on hand for your homebirth
The short answer for this is truly....nothing is required!
The longer answer is: you can (and should!) have on hand whatever you feel would best support you.
My personal leaning is to be a maximalist when it comes to education and empowerment (I was very consistent and diligent about doing my birth affirmations and meditations and reading all the books while I was pregnant).
And a minimalist when it comes to "stuff". I'm not suggesting you should be this way. This is just how I tick. I had very few things on hand during my homebirths, and most of those things I already owned. Things such as: towels, candles, music, water and smoothies, etc.
The only things I purchased for my first homebirth (which I then had on hand and didn't need to repurchase for my second birth) were umbilical cord tape for the umbilical cord (obviously) and some tinctures to help relax and support me through labor. (The tinctures I had on hand were: cramp bark, skullcap, catnip, chamomile blossom, blue & black cohosh and angelica root).
That is truly it.
I didn't get a birth pool because I just didn't want to be bothered with the setup or tear down (or to have my husband be bothered with it). I didn't get a bulb syringe for the baby. Etc.
And again, there's of course nothing wrong with these or any items you may want--I'm just here to say, truly nothing is required!
Even the umbilical cord tape and herbs I got weren't truly necessary. I could have used a shoe string for the umbilical cord, really!
Before I wrap up this point I do want to share a little practice I did for my second birth which I have called "the oxybox" (oxy for oxytocin ;)).
One of the main reasons I prefer homebirth to giving birth anywhere else is because what allows a labor to progress in the best way possible is when a woman feels safe, relaxed and happy. You want to feel GOOD. You want oxytocin (also known as the "love hormone") to increase during your birth because it helps ease the pain of contractions, it helps your body relax, it helps your uterus to return to normal size once your baby is born, it helps prevent hemorrhaging--it is a crucial aspect of having a healthy, happy, and empowered birth experience.
Knowing how important a roll oxytocin plays in birth, I felt I simply had to give birth at home because giving birth in a hospital--or truly anywhere that wasn't my home--would not allow me to feel the level of safe and happy I knew I needed to birth my baby well.
For my second birth I decided to make an even bigger commitment to increasing oxytocin in my body....enter the "oxybox".
The oxybox is very simple. It's basically a box (not necessarily literal, though can be) of all the things I wanted to have on hand during labor that would make me feel GOOD. Things like: my favorite fruits to make my favorite smoothie, a favorite movie, my favorite candles, my favorite kombucha, my toddler (again, it wasn't a literal box ;)), etc. As I was approaching the end of my pregnancy I gathered all these things so that when the time came, I had all the things I felt I needed and wanted to ENJOY myself. I wasn't planning to just "get through" the labor and birth of my second baby, I was planning to have a darn good time. And all my little treats were part of me having that good time.
I now encourage all of my doula clients to create their own little "oxybox" of treats and feel good items that will put them in a good mood and happy energy when labor begins. Make a point of planning to feel really good as you bring your little love into the world!
Further resources.....
If you'd like more from me on having an empowered homebirth, I invite you to watch my birth videos over on youtube:
My most recent homebirth (freebirth)
My first homebirth (freebirth)
And if you'd like more from me still, you can go much deeper with me on all things nutrition during pregnancy (including 100+ of my best plant based, pregnancy recipes), herbs for labor and postpartum, birth meditations, building a rock solid birth mindset, creating your perfect birth team and birth plan, and truly everything you need for your own empowered birth experience with my birth course linked here:
Grow and Birth in Power Course
If you'd like to schedule a 1:1 consultation with me to discuss your birth, you can book that here:
And finally, if you'd like to discuss more in depth pregnancy and birth coaching/distance doula services you are welcome to email me at: [email protected]
Ultimately I want to leave you with the knowing that you CAN have the homebirth of your dreams. The world can be loud and full of fear. I so get that.
But you can choose to set strong boundaries around who and what you'll choose to believe....and to lean into the truth I know you already know deep within; which is that you are made perfectly to birth your baby. And your baby is made perfectly to be born through you.
God's design is not faulty. You are not broken.
I know with the utmost certainty that birth is good and natural and meant to be LOVED--not feared.
You can do it.
You can. And you WILL give birth in the way you ultimately, at the very core of you, desire to give birth in. So be honest about your desires. And then trust....it will be so.
Written with all my love for you, Olivia